Former Planet Accidentally Evaporated by Former Space Agency
The Solar System awoke this morning to find itself with apparently one less planet than it had when it went to sleep late last night, after Conan.

An apparent "miscalculation" in the anticipated "gentle descent" to the surface of the planet Mars by NASA's Mars Polar Lander today, has apparently caused that planet to somehow suddenly no longer be available to any modality of human perception whatsoever.

Mars, formerly the 2nd or 4th planet, whichever, in our solar system, the so-called "Our Solar System," had been a member of the so-called "Our Solar System," for apparently many years now, having first been discovered by Vasco de Gamma and Man Ray in 1493 and refurbished by Pixar in 1994.

According to a NASA spokesperson who was unavailable for comment pending notification of sensemilla, "Apparently this error has been caused by someone with bad grammar fucking up really really awful."

Before things apparently spun out of control and went all wacky, the purpose of the Mars Polar Lander had been to go land on Mars and start promoting Intel's new sugar-coated breakfast cereal shaped like tiny little motherboards.

"We are very disappointed," said a spokesman for Intel, "that we suddenly no longer apparently have a planet to begin branding our new breakfast cereal on, because we feel that the population of Mars was really ready to really WANT a sugar-coated breakfast cereal that's shaped like tiny little motherboards and called something simple, like Intel Sugar-Frosted Motherboards 'n Processors.

A spokesman for Microsoft stated that they were also disappointed that they would now not be able to sell a sugar-coated breakfast cereal shaped like software, on Mars.

A spokesman for the Spokesman Supply Depot stated that he was also disappointed that he would now not be able to start branding his own sugar-coated breakfast cereal shaped like shape itself, on Mars.

A spokesman for the They Don't Call It 'Outer Space' For Nothing Foundation wished everybody a Merry E-christmas '99, despite being disappointed that his own brand of sugar-coated breakfast cereal would now not be able to push its sicko wacko agenda on Mars.

"Our sugar-coated breakfast cereal," he said, "unfortunately would have, for the first time anywhere, empowered the INDIVIDUAL to chose absolutely any picture whatsoever to appear in the background when the message: "Please Wait Several Minutes or Hours While Microsoft Randomly 'Rearranges' Your Hard Drive" randomly appears on his screen.

The planet Mars AFTER totally accidental NASA royal fuck up

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