Hollywood's Coming!
Films with Internet Retrofits:


Studio: Columbia
Director: Joe Ruben
Stars: Wesley Snipes, Woody Harrelson, Sandra Bullock
Release Date: Nov 22, 1995
Total Gross (as of 12/26/95): $33.4 million

Original storyline with added "Cyber" elements:

A heterosexual ex-crack-dealer (Bullock) decides to hijack a New York subway train one day, but because she lives in Michigan, has to do it entirely over the Internet.

When her scheme is thwarted by 2 undercover cops (Snipes and Harrelson), she has a total breakdown and ends up wallowing in alcohol and self-pity and sex and drugs and community service -- until she sinks so low that she catches herself actually reading sponsor ads on HotWired.

That's the last straw and, instantly, she resolves to get her life back together again and heads for the airport where she boards a totally random plane which takes her to some totally unknown city where she gets on a totally random subway train and gets off at a totally random stop where the first person she sees is Woody Harrelson, who she unconditionally forgives for having totally ruined her life.

Immediately, they fall in love and start to live happily ever after until, one day, a Pentium processor implanted in her brain, is activated and she suddenly has to fly off to Brazil with Robert DeNiro to ostensibly look for gold but, in reality, she's being mistakenly sent to transport a CIA-mafioso-druglord informer back to the states either for trial, or to sign the papers for the ancillary product rights to the CD-ROM of the story of his life of violence and pain.

Production Problems:

Sandra Bullock, once a joy to work with, is starting to get a little testy from lack of sleep and all that jetting back and forth between locations of the hundreds of different films she's shooting simultaneously all over the world.

More than once she's stormed off the set spewing the kind of top-secret, avant-garde, ultra-hip obscenities that only major celebrities and their closest pals understand.


Replacement of Bullock is imminent. The choice is apparently between Meg Ryan, Keanu Reeves, and a recently "upgraded" PDP-8 running MS-DOS 2.0


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Last updated: 12/30/95 5:10 am, by: mfu@c3f.com