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Hollywood's Coming!
Films with Internet Retrofits:


Studio: Paramount
Director: Brian DePalma
Stars: Tom Cruise, Sandra Bullock, Meg Ryan, Mira Sorvino, Alicia Silverstone, etc.
Release Date: May 22, 1996

Storyline changes:

The original plot had the old "Impossible Missions" Team coming together one last time to track down a group of international nuclear terrorists threatening to blow up New York, Washington, London, Paris, Moscow, Berlin, Cairo, Mexico City, and Tokyo -- all at the same time.

The revised script calls for the team to use ultra-high-tech VR-AI cable-phonesex headgear devices to track down a pair of skinhead NAMBLA MENSA scientologist gynecologists threatening to spam comp.infosystems.www with ads for product spin-offs from G-rated kickboxer drug/sex/rock 'n roll films, like "Amok! With Tom."

The climactic scene from the original version -- a rousing cruise missile chase through the streets of downtown Salt Lake City -- will still be used for the climactic scene of this version, even though it bears absolutely no relation whatsoever to the new storyline.

Production Problems:

NAMBLA, MENSA, the AMA, The American Scientological Association, and the Union of Concerned Kickboxer-Drugdealers all tried to physically disrupt production, forcing the film to be shot entirely on location in an armored broom closet underneath the Bonneville Salt Flats.


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Last updated: 5/20/96 1:51 pm, by: