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1997: Lamest Year in All History, Of Course
Rancho Sante Fe - (Dec 29) -
Needless to say, as always, this has been the lamest,
most empty, most boring, most worthless, most tragic,
most sickening year in the entire history of human
civilization, and then some.
Since the single most empty, most boring, most
worthless, most tragic, most sickening, most overcovered
subject of the year has been the so-called "digital"
computer (apparently named after the "digital" rectal
exam), and since all our writers were, apparently, just a
little too shit-faced to, you know, sorta recollect what
supposedly did or didn't happen in '97, as it were, and are,
at the moment, still just a little too shit-faced to even wanna bother
trying, if you know what I mean, we've decided to let
our "still under development" chatterbot, "Muffy," sort
it all out, thereby freeing everyone else to do more
weighty pieces about hangover cures and good lawyers to
call for spousal abuse charges.
So click on the above picture to see Muffy's top 25 stories
of the year. Don't like 'em? Just HIT RELOAD to get another set.
Now, just set back and get another bong load.
Who knows, eventually, maybe randomness will
generate a significantly better year than the one that
actually (supposedly), you know, happened.
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