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So, with the dropping out of Bush, Dan Quayle will take over as President on account of he doesn't care about not being able to do coke in the White House. "I don't give a fuck about not being able to do coke in the fucking White House," Quayle swore at reporters at his swearing in ceremony. Apparently the reason he doesn't give a fuck about not being able to do coke in the fucking White House is because apparently he wants to be able to focus like a laser beam on saying "fuck" in public all the time so as to break down this final taboo in our civilization against Presidents saying "fuck" in public all the time. Quayle, who is a fuckin' dumbass, said he will also start a new political party called the Dan Quayle Fuckin' Dumbass Party, which will sort of be like the Bull Moose Party but instead of blah blah blah, blah blah blah. Anyway Quayle went on for a while and then threw a dart into a dart board at the other end of the room, to see whose total extermination he'd call for, tomorrow in his State of the Union Address.
L'Enfer May Just Be Les Autres, French
Study Finds
"L'enfer," said SIT acting president Rebecca Sunnybrook, "may just be the resultat of, you know, les so-called autres. If you know what I mean. And wouldn't that be a bitch."
Quayle Resigns, "Under these circumstances," constitutional scholar Hollis Mosher III told Congress, "total control of everything reverts, of course, immediately to Al Haig." Haig immediately announced he would immediately legalize doing coke in the White House so maybe Bush would come back and we could immediately start all over again.
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