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2/7/97 | 8:00 pm | 8:30 pm | 9:00 pm | 9:30 pm | 10:00 pm | 10:30 pm |
THE GERALDO CHANNEL | Ron Goldman's Biological Mother | Ron Goldman's Sociological Mother | Ron Goldman's Cultural Anthropological Mother | Ron Goldman's Neuro-Pharmacological Sister | ||
THE FAYE RESNICK CHANNEL | 24-Hour Special: Collagen Fever!!! | |||||
THE WIRED VENTURES CHANNEL | Corpus Collosum Candy | Neurologic Nut-Scratching | Beached Brain Blanket Bingo | |||
CINEMAX/ PBS | Movie: "Much Nothing About A Dude" (Keanu Reeves, the Beach Boys) | Movie: "La Jeté Without Bread," (Shannon Tweed, Don "the Dragon" Wilson, Sharon Whirry) | ||||
CNBC |
Drama:
Commerce Hospital |
Drama:
The Bank of Mercy |
Religion/Talk:
Business Model of the Soul |
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CSPAN | Movie: "I Lost It On the CSPAN Schoolbus" (Madonna, the Beach Boys) | Sizing Up Various House Organs | ||||
THE HMO CHANNEL | Movie: "Biopsy This!" (Elizabeth Taylor, Alan Alda) | Movie: "Liposuct This!" (Elizabeth Taylor, the Beach Boys) | ||||
THE FEDERAL BUDGET OF THE UNITED STATES OR WHATEVER ------------------------------------------------------------------ Table 3.1--OUTLAYS BY SUPERFUNCTION AND FUNCTION: ------------------------------------------------------------------ Superfunction and Function 1995 1996 1997 estimate estimate estimate ------------------------------------------------------------------ In millions of dollars ------------------------------------------------------------------- Doritos.................... 272,066 265,556 258,723 Dip ....................... 923,769 969,942 1,022,949 Medical services.......... 54,263 54,131 53,510 Spin Doctors ............ 115,418 121,211 134,572 Script Doctors........... 159,855 177,586 190,107 Forensic Proctologists... 220,449 228,342 236,721 Bovine Scatography....... 335,846 350,924 368,102 (On-budget)............. (5,476) (5,763) (7,035) (Off-budget)............ (330,370) (345,161) (361,067) Miscellaneous Psycho-pharmacological Services................ 62,591 66,670 80,321 Laundry................... 4,936 3,217 2,242 Peanut Butter............. 22,105 21,550 21,560 Speed..................... -14,441 -10,744 5,602 (On-budget)............. (-12,472) (-10,433) (2,970) (Off-budget)............ (-1,969) (-311) (2,632) Angel Dust............... 39,350 39,769 39,080 paper clips.............. 10,641 12,878 11,837 ----------------------------------------------------------------- Which shows that, while most people think the bulk of the budget goes for chips, the reality is that almost 4 times as much (in fiscal 1997) goes for dip. |
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NASA/ PHYSICIANS DESK REFERENCE | Mars on Methamphetamine | The Crab Nebula on Canabis | The Sun on Psilocybin | |||
FOX | The Sleaze Bucket Hour | The Slimeball Hour | The Scuzz Show | |||
HBO | Movie: "Slimeball" (Bruce Willis, Demi Moore) | Movie: "Slutbucket" (Demi Moore, Bruce Willis) | ||||
INTL | Nzgzygi Isgzgy This! | Nazgibignyeu Bucket! | Chachgicakya Oligelobolus | |||
MSNBC | my ($presetwd,$subjatom,$j,$i,$cat,@vp); @vp= @_; $presetwd=0; $subjatom = 0; # FLAGS $j=@vp; for ($i=0; $i < $j; $i++) { $cat= shift @vp; if ($cat eq 'INTERACT') { &EXPANDVP (&VPGEN(0,0,0,'Interpers')); next; } if ($cat eq 'CHANGE') { &EXPANDVP (&VPGEN(0,0,0,'Change')); next; } | |||||
PBS/DISNEY | The Charlie Rose Goofy Fame Queen Hour | The Frugal Gourmet/Michael Jackson Show | ||||
WARNER/ CNBC | Bay Buchanan Watch | French Priss of Bel Air | Fresh Belt of Piss Air | |||
MARTHA STEWART CHANNEL | Designing With Smegma | Cooking With Walter Cronkite's Spit | ||||
UNI-
VISION |
Cine: "Sangre Mujere de Muerte y Drogas" (Fernando Alamada, Mario Alamada, Jose Alamada) | Cine: "Narcotraficante de Mujeres" (Jorge Reynoso, David Reynoso, Jose Reynoso) |
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