Washingham, DC - (Feb 2) - In the wake of the aftermath of allegations of alleged obstruction of injustice as regards improprieties of the improper organ-orifice kind and subornation of prejudice or proffers of a munity in the instance of the so-called Fellate-Gate, the so-called "American people" have responded in the following way to the following questions posed by our crack team of crack-addled presidential pole takers who talked straight to the rudimentary boys about the manic member with rampant eyes.

1. Opinion of Monica Lewinsky

I don't like her shoes ......................... 50%
She should use a different shampoo .... 49%

Please shut the fuck up ................. 35%
Why don't you shut the fuck up? ... 37%
Hey, shut the fuck up! .................. 40%

In his pants................. 35%
In his socks................ 35%
In Socks..................... 35%

The truth............................................... 35%
A can of aerosol mock semen-splatter ...... 25%
The salami ............................................. 40%

Covering up for Al Gore's sexual peccadillos .......... 35%
Covering up for Jerry Fallwell's six-pack a dildoes... 35%
Just another organ donor....................................... 35%

Boring ................. 69%
Lame ................... 69%
Infantile......... ...... 69%

The budget would've been balanced by '96 ..............23%
The budget NEVER would've been balanced ............22%
Human "civilization" would have ended ................... 55%