No Road Ahead
Before the editors and marketing men got ahold of it, Bill Gates' soppy stew of techno-sentimentality, "The Road Ahead," was a much darker and more honest book. So when Gates tossed out his old Pentium box, our trash surfers were quick to salvage it and extract from its hard drive what is clearly the raw first draft of the book -- when it still expressed Bill's real feelings about the future -- and came with a somewhat different title. Click on the cover to read the first of many lengthy excerpts to be made available here, exclusively to BFB$ readers.

Better Faster Be$t$eller$

for the week of: January 27, 1997 

 
 
 
Non-Fiction 

 
 

 
 
    
 
  
  1. Al
 Franken is From Mars, Deepak Chopra is from Venus
    
 William S. Burroughs
    
 Warner/Turner/Malone/Sting/Cher Media, $95.00  
    
 Last Week: 1, Weeks on List: 2586
 
  
  2. It Takes a Big Fat Idiot and Other
 Slimeballs
    
 Hillary Clinton with Al Franken
    
 Tom/Collins, $00.50 
    
 Last Week: 3, Weeks on List: 428
 
  
  3. Anonymous is a Big Fat Idiot and Other
 Observations
    
 Anonymous w/Norman Mailer and Faye Resnick
    
 Anonymous House, $1.25 
    
 Last Week: --, Weeks on List: 1
 
  
  4.  Al
 D'Amato is a Slimy Hypocritical Creep and Other Observations
 
    
 Hillary Clinton
    
 Simon & Garfunkle, $1.00 
    
 Last Week: --, Weeks on List: 1
 
  
  5. The 7
 Spiritual Laws of Conning American Book Buyers
    
 Deepak Chopra with Clifford Stoll
    
 Absolut Entertainment, $9.95 
    
 Last Week: 2, Weeks on List: 27,999
 
  
  6. Everybody Else is a Big Fat Idiot and No Other
 Observations
    
 Kate Moss
    
 Cindy Crawford Books, $100.00
    
 Last Week: 2, Weeks on List: 22
 
  
  7. Intellectualized Emotionalisms (for DOS
 Dummies)
    
 Daniel Gookinman
    
 Nadir House, $1000.95
    
 Last Week: 2, Weeks on List: 882
 
  
  8. No
 Brakes, No Steering, No Transmission 
 
    
 Bill Gates
    
 John Malone Sucks Media, $500.00
    
 Last Week: 8, Weeks on List: 10
 
  
  9. The
 Beardstown Ladies Stitch Deepak Chopra's Ass Shut 
    
 William Bennett with Faye Resnick
    
 Righteousness is Next to Obesity Books, $2.00 
    
 Last Week: 6, Weeks on List: 3
 
  
  10.  Hey,
 I'm a Senator, a Scholar and a Star Athlete -- So Why Am I Soooo Fucking
 Boring!
    
 Bill Bradley
    
 Harper/Shmarper, unpriced
    
 Last Week: 10, Weeks on List: 4
 
  
  11. Deepak
 Chopra, My Father 
    
 Kathy Acker
    
 Octupleday, $6.00 
    
 Last Week: 13, Weeks on List: 11
 
  
  12. Charles Kuralt, Child Molester
 
    
 Charles Kuralt with John Malone 
    
 Southern Comfort Interactive, $295.95
    
 Last Week: 9, Weeks on List: 12
 
  
  13. Hack
 Job #45 
    
 Michael Crichton
    
 Random Shmandom, $1.75 
    
 Last Week: 4, Weeks on List: 52
 
  
  14. Miss
 America is a Big Fat Idiot and Other Observations 
    
 Howard Stern with Colin Powell and Charles Kuralt
    
 Turner/Warner/Malone/Viacom/Sony/MCA Books, $375.00
    
 Last Week: --, Weeks on List: 1
 
  
  15. Salman
 Rushdie and Howard Stern Are the Same Person
    
 Deepak Chopra
    
 Warner Sucks Malone Media, $800.00 
    
 Last Week: --, Weeks on List: 1
 
 
 

 
 

 
 
 
 

 
 
 
Online Fiction 

 
 

 
 
    
 
 
  
  1. Nova
 Express
    
 William S. Burroughs
    
 PBS/Mitsubishi Foods Entertainment, $00.00
    
 Last Week: 2, Weeks on List: 22
 
  
  2. Most
 Fucked-Up Person Alive Tells All
    
 Most Fucked-Up Person Alive
    
 C/3F Books, $00.00 
    
 Last Week: 1, Weeks on List: 4
 
  
  3. Naked
 Lunch
    
 William S Burroughs
    
 Betty Crocker Media, $00.00 
    
 Last Week: 3, Weeks on List: 42
 
  
  4. On the Road
 
    
 Jack Kerouac
    
 General Motors Entertainment, $00.00 
    
 Last Week: 4, Weeks on List: 52
 
  
  5. Most
 Fucked-Up Person Alive's American Journey 
    
 Most Fucked-Up Person Alive with Faye Resnick
    
 Cognitec Books, $00.00 
    
 Last Week: 6, Weeks on List: 3
 
  
  6. The Cybernetic Theory of
 Ego Transcendance 
    
 Cybermonk
    
 Jim Beam Books, $00.00 
    
 Last Week: 5, Weeks on List: 2
 
  
  7. Dead
 Doll Humility 
    
 Kathy Acker
    
 QuintupleDay, $00.00 
    
 Last Week: 13, Weeks on List: 11
 
  
  8. Most
 Fucked-Up Person Alive's 7 Spiritual Laws
    
 Most Fucked-Up Person Alive with Bill Gates
    
 Johnny Walker Entertainment, $00.00 
    
 Last Week: 7, Weeks on List: 7
 
  
  9. Lee's Journals

    
 William S. Burroughs
    
 Nike Multi-media, $00.00
    
 Last Week: 8, Weeks on List: 10
 
  
  10. Culture
 As Suicide
    
 3rd Force Software Group
    
 Warner/Viacom/Sony/MCA Books, $00.00
    
 Last Week: --, Weeks on List: 1
 
  
  11. Most
 Fucked-Up Person Alive's America
    
 Most Fucked-Up Person Alive with John Malone 
    
 Jack Daniels Interactive, unpriced
    
 Last Week: 9, Weeks on List: 12
 
  
  12. Interzone
    
 William S Burroughs
    
 Warner Turner Malone Zone, $00.00  
    
 Last Week: 14, Weeks on List: 2
 
  
  13. Obsession
    
 Kathy Acker
    
 Psilocybin House, $00.00
    
 Last Week: --, Weeks on List: 10
 
  
  14. Howard
 Stern and Deepak Chopra Are the Same Person 
    
 Colin Powell
    
 Kurt Vomit Jr Books, unpriced
    
 Last Week: 10, Weeks on List: 4
 
  
  15. More
 Drugs, Please
    
 3rd Force Software/Fiction Group
    
 3rd Force/Warner, $00.00 
    
 Last Week: --, Weeks on List: 1
 
 
 

 
 

 
 
 
 
 

  
 

 

 

 
 

 
 

 
 
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